We're All Doomed- Daniel Howell

 

So I recently rewatched WAD last night and I forgot how much I loved it. The fact that we are literally moving towards our inevitable death and we are the ones responsible for living our life to the fullest before we reach the end is a crazy concept for a comedy show; along with the fact that the world is a shit show and people on earth suck. But the final message has always resonated with me, especially as someone who has suffered from depression since I was young. It takes courage to really look at who you are and accept it; especially when you spend so long running from it, or convincing yourself that it's "not that bad". I had spent so much time being depressed that it was the only way I knew how to live. The constant negative outlook on life, the relentless thoughts of self doubt and the feeling that my life would never get better; I was stuck in this constant cycle of it and I had felt so lost for a very long time. However, like most things, it got so much better with time. And don't get me wrong, I did pull myself off the floor of what I would consider "rock bottom" multiple times, it also did take work and it did take reflection and I did reach out for help but the more time passed, the easier it felt. I remember when people would tell me to "give it time" and I would get so angry because I thought it was a lie, I thought it was just something you say when you can't say anything better, but it's true. If you have the courage to fight for your life it gets so much better. It is easy to think about how the world is going to shit and how we're going to die anyways so there's no point in trying but where is the fun in that. Choosing to live and I mean really live is such a special thing. Being present and enjoying the things you want to enjoy with the people you care about is what life is. There are soooo many memories I would've missed if I stayed in that mentality of "life sucks" and "I don't want to be here". I wouldn't have experienced all the concerts and trips to new cities and met all the people I now know. Yes sometimes it is just about taking it day by day but making the most of it by not taking life too seriously. And when things go wrong, which will happen sometimes, I like to think of what my Ochem prof would say-"the universe is being funny today" and honestly, yeah. So like Dan Howell would say, " don't let the doom drag you down. You are important. You matter. Stay hopeful for the future. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist" 

I wish someone would've told me at 13 that life doesn't have to be scary. It can be whatever I want it to be and ill be damned if I don't live it to the fullest. I have made it this far so what's a little bit farther.