Is the real me just my middle school self?

When I was younger, I used to be self conscious of all of my interests because I could never really find people who liked what I liked. I hated being perceived, I hated being noticed and being different. I  just wanted to exist and not be seen by anyone. After a few months in middle school I quickly realized that I was often times too much or not enough; too "weird" for the "normal" kids and too "normal" for the "weird" kids. 

I liked videogames and watched playthroughs on youtube whenever I had spare time. Pewdiepie, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye were in my daily rotation. This was around the time I started listening to P!ATD, PTV, BMTH, MCR, Paramore which was not very popular between the kids at my school. I always wore all black and never really made the effort to speak to people unless I knew them from elementary school. When I made it to HS I made a huge effort to like what everyone else liked so I could have friends, which in retrospect is kinda sad.

Anyways, Now that I'm 24 I've realized that all of my middle school interests have slowly made their way back into my life. I'm not sure if its the newfound ability as an adult to not care what people think anymore(which I'm still working on), or if its the fact that people have decided that being "alternative and emo" is not that weird. I started dyeing my hair and got baby bangs, I listen to my old favorite music and have even found more alternative bands to listen to. I try to dress more alternative, however I am not that good at it so my style is still nonexistent.

I think deep down I am exactly who I was when I was younger and that makes me a little emotional when I actually think about it. Sometimes, I wish I was more comfortable in who I was when I was younger but I think its nice that I found my way back. I wont lie it was a really dreadful and long process but I think things always have a weird way of working out in the end! 

                                                                        Very small Nat^